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So yea.. this is it! ;D :yeah:
Kylie Minogue, Robbie Williams and Elton John went for a night on the town, as they left the night-club, Kylie, half-pissed, slipped and got her head stuck between the railings of the fence opposite the club. Robbie decided to take full advantage of this and lifted up her little skirt, pushed her g-string to one side and gave her a good seeing to. After he'd finished, Robbie turned and said "It's your turn now, Elton", but Elton started crying. Robbie asked, "Why are you crying, Elton? What's wrong?" Elton sobbed, "My head won't fit between the railings!!!"
Write down your own jokes and stuff!
From now (14/11/06 13:37), any jokes that have swearing or of an adult nature (i.e. racism, sexism) must be put in a spoiler tag.
acually kinda good ;>
Here's my (Im not the one who made it)
A guy comes in to a strip club and takes a seat, Behind him is a guy who is really (i mean it, Really) horny. When the stripper takes off the shirt he goes like "WOHOO BABY! COME ON! MORE!" The man infront of the guy says, "come on man, Stop yelling." Now does the stripper takes off her pants. Our friend at the back seat goes crazy again. "COME ON BABY! YOU ARE ALMOST THERE!" Our man at the front responds. "Calm the fuck down man." Now when the stripper takes off the rest of the clothes our guy at the back is all quiet. Our man in the front asks "Man, where is your enthusiasm now?" Our guy in at the back says. "It's all over your back dude."
hahahah good one!!!! love it!:yeah:
hahahah good one!!!! love it!:yeah:
It's kinda gross about him "cumming" on the man in the front.. >.>
Anyway, It rocks :)
My best joke ever.
There was one day 2 cows flying around, suddely(?) one of them fall down but that dosen't matter beacuse his dad own a farm. :yeah:
A man walk in to a bar...
-Ouch!
A long time ago, it was a road, and the road was sandy.
A long time ago, it was a road, and the road was sandy.
Oh lol, wrong button >.>
Kaktusen
03-11-2006, 21:53
A long time ago, it was a road, and the road was sandy.
Parents are like rappers. You don't know what they are saying but you kinda know what they're talking about. :happy:
Disobay the rules again, I dare you.
Saint Louis
03-11-2006, 23:07
What do you call 4 Mariachi men in quick sand?
Quatro Sinko :p
what is this ? <.....>
I don´t know but heres is anotherone <.....>
These jokes might be a bit racist.
Next time think before you post something like that and for gods sake read our rules.
Saint Louis
04-11-2006, 02:15
yeah, even though there racist they are funney, the world is filled with racism, and much more bad things, just gota put a smile on and live life as it is.
Wow, thats the most intelegent thing i have ever said!! :)
Forumtroll
04-11-2006, 12:41
A priest, a paladin and Varimathras walks into a bar....
Jesus, Kalle and a sober Finnish was playing Stone, Scissor and paper (or wtf it's in english) about who's going to pay the bill, who won?
Jesus is dead, there are no sober finnish, so it must've been kalle.
Slusker Svensson
10-11-2006, 09:30
A priest, a paladin and Varimathras walks into a bar....
Jesus, Kalle and a sober Finnish was playing Stone, Scissor and paper (or wtf it's in english) about who's going to pay the bill, who won?
Jesus is dead, there are no sober finnish, so it must've been kalle.
kalle ftw
Some guys were hanging out inside a bar.
- 5, a guy said.
(everyone laughs)
- 16, another guy said
(and everyone was laughing)
- 2, another one said
(and everybody laughed out loud)
Another guy walked in the bar and heard them laugh about the numbers
- Why the fuck are you lauging about numbers?
He said.
- Well, we're tired to tell the same jokes on, and on again. So we put a number for each joke.
- Uhm okay, 163!!
(And everyone laughed more than ever)
- What was so funny about that joke?
- We never heard that before, he answered.
LAAAME, EXDEEH! :yeah:
A man goes to the confessional and says, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." "What is your sin, my child?" The Priest asks.
"Well," the man starts, "I used the 'F'-word today and I feel so terrible." "Why don't you tell me what happened. What made you use such awful language?" asked the Priest.
"Well, I was out golfing and I hit this incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but the ball hit a phone line hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going about 100 yards."
"I'm a golfer myself my son" said the Priest "I understand what you were feeling. So this is when you swore?" "No Father," said the man, "You see, after that a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."
"And this is when you swore?" asked the Father again. "No not yet. Just as the squirrel was running away, this eagle came down out of the sky and grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"And it was then that you swore?" asked the amazed Priest. "No, not yet," replied the man, "Just as the eagle was flying away with the squirrel he flew towards a wooded area next to the green. And as he passed over it, the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear then, my son?" asked the now impatient Priest. "No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and then rolled through a sand trap and on to the green and stopped dead six inches from the hole!" told the man. The priest sighed, "You missed the fucking putt, didn't you!!?"
Here's come 1 easy !
A girl whas dating shes boyfriend. She's going to meet him 30 February or 31 January or 31 April. Which day did she meet him ?
31 January. 31 April and 30 February doesn't exist ;)
Here's come 1 easy !
A girl whas dating shes boyfriend. She's going to meet him 30 February or 31 January or 31 April. Which day did she meet him ?
31 January. 31 April and 30 February doesn't exist ;)
Ow that one was lame, and pretty obvious :happy:
Two people got stranded on a deserted island after their boat sank. One was american, the other one was japanese. The japanese didn't know what to do so the american said: We're gonna need some place to sleep and something eatable, I'll make us a place to sleep and you fix some supplies. The japanese went away into the forrest and the american started to build a sleeping place out of leaves and old trees. After three hours the japanese still wasn't back so the american decided to go look for him. He went away the same way that the japanese took. Then suddenly the japanese jumps out from behind a tree and yells: SUPLISE!
Here's come 1 easy !
A girl whas dating shes boyfriend. She's going to meet him 30 February or 31 January or 31 April. Which day did she meet him ?
31 January. 31 April and 30 February doesn't exist ;)
ofcourse 31 January exist ;) u maybe mean 30 January :D
Ralphs joke~
Haha, lol.
@Farde, You should maybe look again and then u would see the ".", and btw, 30 Janauary exists to.
Here's come 1 easy !
A girl whas dating shes boyfriend. She's going to meet him 30 February or 31 January or 31 April. Which day did she meet him ?
31 January. 31 April and 30 February doesn't exist ;)
ofcourse 31 January exist ;) u maybe mean 30 January :D
Uhm?!?!?!? You are saying that 31 January exists, and then asking if he meant 30 January? ... Alright, so 31 January exists, but 30th dosn't?:hehe:
In this thread ONLY, you may swear if needed to tell a joke, otherwise the rules still apply.
A man takes his boy joyriding and he gets caught, "Bastard" says the man, the boy asks "Daddy what does bastard mean?" "Uhm, policeman" the dad replys, they go home and the dad stubs his toe on the mat, "Shit!" the dad shouts. "Daddy what does shit mean?" the boy asks, "uhm, doormat!" the father says. Later the boy walks in on his dad shaving, the dad cuts himself and shouts "bollocks!", "Daddy what does bollocks mean?" the boy asks "Uhm, chin!" the dad replys. The boy goes downstairs to his mother, she cuts herself. "Fuck!" she shouts, "mommy what does fuck mean?" the boy asks, "uhh, cut" the mum replys. The doorbell rings and the boy answers the door, it's the policeman, the boy smiles and says "Hello bastard, whipe your feet on the shit on the way in, dads upstairs shaving his bollocks and mums in the kitchen fucking the chicken".
Apollo's Knight
14-11-2006, 03:27
Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this?
I am not in support of this. Not at all.
These jokes might be a bit racist.
Next time think before you post something like that and for gods sake read our rules.
df's banishment has been lifted, he gave a fare warning at the start of his joke.
Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this?
I am not in support of this. Not at all.
I agree. Seems like Stern's all in though.
I'll fill in with a joke anyhow. :P
Conversation between two Swedes:
- I bought a toilet brush the other day.
- Oh, did you like it?
- Well, I prefer toilet paper.
(dunno if it's called toilet brush, it's the thing you clean your toilet with)
Haha Greldin, that tickled my funny bone.
And you should read the first post.
These jokes might be a bit racist.
Next time think before you post something like that and for gods sake read our rules.
df's banishment has been lifted, he gave a fare warning at the start of his joke.
Thanks alot! <3
Keep spamming this thread with jokes and such things everyone!!
Apollo's Knight
14-11-2006, 23:12
Who ever made them into spoliers...Thank you.
I did not read it anywhere so....
I like a good joke as the next guy, but...
For further notice, if your joke contains swear words or racism [Which I still dont support in any way] or anything offensive, make sure that it is followed by a spoiler tag.
Thank you.
Most likely I speak on behalf of most of the TibiaNordic team with the above statement.
I already put that in the first post, which was after I put everything in a spoiler tag.
Apollo's Knight
14-11-2006, 23:22
Then sorry and thank you.
My eye did not catch that.
VI drar en klassiker.Three swedish girls were confessing their sins to the Priest.
The first one said Forgive me father thou i have sin, I have sexualsatissfied myself
The priest said Everything is acceptable by the great lord, now drink the holy water and become 1 with god
The second girl said Forgive me father thou i have sin, i destroyed my husbands favourite toy as an act of revenge
The priest said Everything is acceptable by the great lord, now drink the holy water and become 1 with god
And the last girl went forward and BURSTED to LAUHTER, and the priest said, and what do you want to confess?
The girl says I PEED IN THE HOLY WATER
:o
After deliberation, I've decided to close this topic, please do not make another topic which includes raciest or sexist jokes.
-Stern.
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